35 min

Leon Fourie — Personal And Team Motivation

With Leon Fourie — Personal And Team Motivation

In short

Change strategist Leon Fourie joins David Watts to show how thinking, physiology and language drive personal and team performance. Listeners get two guided state-change exercises, an explanation of anchoring, why sales psychology is about connection rather than manipulation, and why most people can name what they don't want but not what they do want.

Why do so many people dread Mondays?

Because most people live only for the weekend, and Leon says the highest rate of heart attacks happens on a Monday morning because people are unhappy about going to work. He points to the social media habit of counting down to "hump day", noting that stress about Monday starts halfway through Sunday.

How can you prove that thinking changes how you feel?

Leon runs a live demonstration: he asks listeners to close their eyes, revisit a painful memory in detail, then open them. David reports feeling "absolute crap". Leon's point is that nothing changed except the images in the mind — thinking is images, and it shifts mood and posture immediately.

What is anchoring and how do you use it day to day?

An anchor is a physical gesture tied to a peak emotional state that can be fired off later. Leon uses a reverse fist bump into his side whenever he has a small win, so on a bad day the gesture recalls the emotion. David cites Allan Donald's wicket celebration as the same thing.

Is it manipulative for salespeople to study psychology?

No — both hosts argue it is close to mandatory. Leon reads walk, posture, speech pattern and clothing to build subconscious connection quickly, because ad saturation makes people disconnect. David adds that genuine rapport makes dishonesty impossible, since people pick up on anything dodgy.

What is wrong with hiring someone who can "sell snow to an Eskimo"?

It produces customers rather than clients. Leon says that if you sell snow to an Eskimo they will never trust you or buy from you again. Connection techniques only open the door; it is the quality of the service that makes or breaks the deal.

Why can't people say what they actually want?

People are very clear about what they don't want and vague about what they do. Leon explains the mind stores images, not words, so writing down what you don't want stores exactly that picture — like shouting "don't run next to the pool" and getting running.

How does vague language break a team?

Through unshared definitions of simple rules. Leon uses "you work from eight to five": for one person that means parking in the basement at eight, for another walking through the front door, for another being at the desk ready to work. All believe they comply, and conflict follows.

What did David's father tell him on his deathbed?

His father, who was an alcoholic and unhappily married for many years, asked him to promise not to live a life of quiet desperation. David reflects that his parents would probably have been happier apart, and that providing for a family he never wanted built resentment.

Why isn't working hard enough to get the life you want?

Because physical hard work is not the secret — emotional hard work is. Leon points out that if effort alone were enough, everyone digging holes beside the road would be a millionaire. Emotionally easy choices create a hard life; emotionally hard ones create an easier one.

In their words

Taken from the recording, word for word.

So out of seven days, the only thing we live for is two days of the weekend, and halfway through Sunday, we actually start stressing about Monday.

— Leon Fourie

If you sell snow to an Eskimo, you will never ever trust you or buy from you again.

— Leon Fourie

Son, please promise me one thing. Don't do what I have done. Do not live a life of quiet desperation.

— David Watts

If that was true, then every person out there standing next to the road digging holes and working in factories should be millionaires, 'cause they are the guys that work really, really hard.

— Leon Fourie

You don't have to do a thing, just pay it forward, that's all I ask of you.

— David Watts

Key takeaways

  1. Changing the images you hold in mind changes your mood and posture within seconds, in either direction.
  2. A deliberate physical gesture attached to a peak state gives you a repeatable way to shift out of a bad day.
  3. Sales psychology builds rapport faster, but service quality, not technique, keeps the client.
  4. People can usually list what they don't want in detail while having no picture of what they do want, and the mind stores those unwanted images anyway.
  5. Team conflict often comes from everyone interpreting the same vague policy differently rather than from big failures.
  6. Leon offers a free monthly magazine, Leadership Debunked, and free 67-minute team strategy sessions for companies.

Show notes

On this episode I chat to change strategist, author and speaker Leon Fourie about personal and team motivation, development and change

Frequently asked questions

What is Leon's book called?

"Recognition: 47 ways to stand out as an expert". He also publishes a free monthly magazine, Leadership Debunked, covering leadership, entrepreneurship, intrapreneurship, HR, training, innovation and creativity, readable online or as a downloadable PDF.

Where can listeners find Leon and David?

The magazine is at leadershipdebunked.co.za and Leon's site is leonfury.com, with [email protected] or [email protected] for email. David can be reached at [email protected], spelled W-A-T-T-S.

Why 67 minutes rather than an hour?

Leon says an hour "just sounds wrong" and that the number seven is psychological, something he links to pricing and offers to discuss on a later show. The sessions are free team strategy work, not a sales or motivational pitch.

What is the webinar they discussed?

A free hour of live training where listeners choose the topic that would make the biggest change in their lives. David suggests state changes, anchoring and the circle of excellence, and both stress it will not be a sales pitch.

How often will Leon appear on the show?

On the first Monday night of every month.

Transcript

The full conversation, 6,760 words.

David Watts on Max 93.8. - Max 93.8, legendary radio. It is on a Monday as we do each and every Monday. This time it is what's involved. Welcome to it. I'm David Watts, my guest in studio tonight. We're gonna do this every first Monday of the month now is Change Agent. I've decided that's your new name today. - I'll just go with it. - That's what I'm gonna call you today. It's Leon Fourie, speaker, trainer, author. - Succeed strategist. - There we go. Tonight's topic that we're going to talk about is personal and team performance. And we're also gonna talk communication tonight. So I think seeing as though communication is part of my passion. Let's start off with some communication ideas and thoughts because you get different kinds of communication. - You get your internal and external. But before we go there, what interesting what you said about your crappy day, and you spoke about the song I Don't Like Mondays. There's actually stats that show the highest rate of heart attacks happen on a Monday because people are so unhappy about going to work. And if you think about it, how many people do you see on their WhatsApps and social media and stuff? They go, "Oh, it's what, hump day on a Wednesday?" - Yes, over the hump-- - Three more days, or three more days till the weekend.

And I'm thinking, so out of seven days, the only thing we live for is two days of the weekend, and halfway through Sunday, we actually start stressing about Monday, and as I said, that's the highest rate of heart attacks is on a Monday morning 'cause people are like scared. - There's nothing worse than that Sunday afternoon realization that Mondays work, except I don't generally have that problem, okay? I love what I do. I love going to work. Hence me getting there at five o'clock in the morning. So my intention this morning was to have a good day, and then the universe conspired against me. At least, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. - So I wanna change that story a little bit. - But let's talk about changing the story, 'cause it's one of the things that I always tell people about, and I talk about changing state, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So tell me about it, because my day just seemed to snowball and get worse and worse, and it started out with me not being able to search my emails on my Mac, because for some reason, Mac mail just went, forget it, but, and today was the day I needed to find mails. And when you've got sort of almost 8,000 mails, and I clean my email box quite regularly, so it's 8,000 mails that mean something somewhere along the line, and then it just went pear-shaped from there.

So tell me about it. - So let's look at the flip side. I had an amazing day. My email server went down most of the morning. I also couldn't get emails, and I had contracts and stuff that needed to go out, and it comes back to, we talk about communication, internal, external, and this is your internal communication. A lot of people will hear, somebody will say to them, you know what, you know, all these motivational speakers tell you, your thinking creates your reality. What you think you attract, and it becomes reality, and then people go, oh no, you know what, that's just a whole lot of-- - Hogwash. - Hogwash, let's use that word, yes. So, and I actually have a way to show people how your thinking actually determines your mood and your day. And what I want to try and prove through this as well is, your thinking impacts your body, and your body impacts your thinking. So they work together. So what I would-- - There is no separation, yeah. - So what I would like the listeners to do-- - As long as you, if you're driving-- (laughing) Play along, but just don't do the eyes closed part, okay? Please, if you're driving, do not close your eyes for this one. But if you're in a quiet space, you're sitting, listening to us, and you've got the opportunity, what I want you to do is just get a bit quiet, sit down, and close your eyes.

And what I want you to do now is, I want you to go back in time, and think of an event or something in your life that happened where you either got really hurt, or somebody hurt you, or something really, really bad happened to you. - Okay, I'm there. - Okay, and I want you to go back to that exact point, almost like you're standing outside of yourself, looking at you. Were you standing? Were you sitting? Were you lying down? What was happening? - Okay. - What was the emotion on your face? Were you crying? Was it a sad face? What did your body look like? Now I want you to go into that feeling. How did it feel? Was your body aching? Were you hurting? Did you lose somebody? Did somebody say something about you that wasn't true? How did you feel? Now I want you to open your eyes, and I want you to tell me what you feel like. - I feel like absolute crap right now. - Exactly, and I didn't change anything. I used words, and so what is thinking? Thinking is images that you see in your mind. - Yes. - So I changed the images that was basically your thinking in your mind at the moment. That changed your mood. Most of you will feel that you're slumping down, or I could see what you said in your shoulders, your head went down.

- Okay, but now all you've done is you've just gotten a whole bunch of people more depressed. - But I needed to prove a point, but now I'll lift them up. - Give us the flip side. I know what are we doing in terms of the NLP side of it. When we talk about state changes, switch patterns, what you were doing there, I would also do something similar in terms of timelines. We call it timeline therapy. But let's go through it with you now. Okay, so. - It's basically the same exercise, but I focus on something different. Now I know with NLP, you can go back to this memory, and then you can make it black and white, and you can make it smaller, and it moves away or everything. - Make it still if it was moving, et cetera, et cetera. - Take away the sound from it. So that's the approach you can use in NLP. What I wanna do now is I just wanna do a quick state change. So for those of you, if you can again sit somewhere where it's quiet, do exactly what we did now, close your eyes. And what I want you to do is go back to a time that you were exceptionally, exceptionally happy. Something absolutely amazing happened to you. You felt like you owned the world. - I like to call it, when I do this kind of thing, I like to call it a Fig Jam moment, which stands for flip, I'm good.

Just ask me. - Okay. So go back to one of those Fig Jam moments. And I want you again to see yourself in that moment. Be an outside person looking at yourself. And what did you look like? What did your face look like? Did you have a smile on your face? Were you jumping up and down? Were you going like arms all over the place and shouting and yes, and those fist bumps. - Doing the dance, the happy dance, yes. - And how did you feel? And what were you thinking about? Now I want you to step into that feeling, almost like you walking forward and stepping into your body at that time. And step into it and feel how amazing you felt at that time. - And that's at a peak, that's what we call a peak state. So when you felt like that, yes, I can do it. And this explains though, when you talk about things like this, this explains why, if you remember the cricketer, Alan Donald, every time he took a wicket, he used to sort of arms out and he used to run it. - That's what you call an NLP. - An anchor. - They call it an anchoring. - Yes. - So the same thing with that. And I think this is something important we can do to start changing our lives. So every time, 'cause what we really bad at as human beings, we don't celebrate small wins.

We wait for as an example. So I would get a company that asks me, would I go do an hour talk for them at five of their locations throughout South Africa? Even though they haven't accepted the quota anything, for me, that's a win. So I've got this, yes. This, this, this, it's like a reverse fist bump that I pull into my side. Every time I have a small win or something good happens, I do that. That becomes my anchor. So even if I've got a crappy day, I just go, yes. And that brings up those emotions again. - 'Cause you change your physiology. - Yes. - So, and it changes your brain chemistry. - Yeah, it's the same, you do sales training. So when I do sales training for companies, well, we don't, we don't call it sales training anymore. We call it sales strategy sessions that we do. 'Cause it's way more than just training. - Yeah. - And what I teach them is, if you get up and you walk up, let's say you have to do a cold call. You do the Superman stand by changing your body, your physiology. You change your mind, your emotions. And immediately you just, it's like you step into that power of being a superhero and you pick up that phone. So it's small changes on the physiology and by using anchoring that we apply.

- And it's a fantastic, fantastic process. We're gonna get into something, 'cause you and I were kicking around an idea earlier in which we're gonna get into in just a little bit. But before we do that, we're still gonna be talking performance-based and performances, now personal performance, team performance. We're gonna be talking about that. Because we're so passionate about this field of human potential and self-development, we do tend to wonder a bit. So don't worry, we'll get there eventually. - David Watts on Mix 93.8. - My guest in studio, Leon Fari. What are you again? - Just a success strategist. That's the easiest. - I'm going to write it here in big letters. Success strategist. So somebody says it takes great courage to wrestle, to wrestle, have another drink, David. It takes great courage to wrestle against such emotions, so ingrained and deep rooted. So Seamus appreciates that. Somebody else said, gave us a whole little story about Charlie Chaplin, which was wonderful. When he told the joke to people and they laughed, he told it again. And then he told it a third time when nobody laughed. And he said to the people, when you can't laugh at the same joke again and again, then why do you cry again and again about the same worry?

So there we go. Well done, Charlie. Yeah. And then, this is an interesting one. Because you and I both do sales training. You call it something else, I call it something else. I call it persuasive communication now, or persuasive selling. You call it sales strategies. But somebody just said to us, where is it? Nick just said, is it legal for sales reps to study psychology? I wouldn't say just, not only is it legal, I would have said it's almost mandatory. I would, yeah, we use technology for everything else. And if you look at the landscape, I don't want to use the word difficult, but it's becoming more of a challenge to connect with people and able to sell. And because of social media, and I read something other about how many ads we see by the time we leave home and we get to work. So people quickly start to disconnect. So we need to find ways to quickly build a connection with people. And I won't just call it psychology. I mean, there's techniques about, you can look at, and I do this when I help companies, you can look at the way somebody walk, the way they sit in a chair, their speech pattern, and the type and color of clothes that they wear. And I can tell you their personality.

And then I can change my look very quickly so that they kind of feel a subconscious connection. And these days you have to start using stuff like that. It's not being, I don't know, it's wrong. - It's not subversive, it's not subversive at all, because, and it's exactly because of that, because of limited attention spans, and because people don't connect anymore, it's to be able to do this, to gain this rapport with somebody, and to build a level of trust. And I've had this discussion, 'cause we do a lot of this kind of things with different groups, as I said recently, we've been working with one of the bigger banks, and they ask me exactly that. They go, aren't you conning somebody by doing this? The truth of the matter is, is when you get into that rapport, you can't lie or be dishonest, okay? Because then you've got that feeling, there's that going backwards and forwards, and then there's that, and I've always said this, before I studied any of this stuff, people buy from people they like. It's that simple. - And people they trust. - And people they trust. So now what we're doing with what you do, what I do is we're building that trust and that rapport, just a lot more quickly using technology, and we make no doubt about it.

I mean, there's a lot of things. You'll get, particularly like the persuasive communication, or like I do, I study the Ericksonian hypnotherapy as well. And people are like, oh, no, you're gonna do this and that and the next thing, no, you're not, okay? Because as soon as you try and do anything dodgy, okay, people are wired to connect to each other like that. As soon as you try and do something dodgy, they're gonna pick up on it and you're going to get your butt handed to you. - It will come out. For me, it just made me thought about that. A lot of people, when they employ salespeople, they say, no, we're looking for somebody that can sell snow to an Eskimo, and that's not what I want. 'Cause you don't want customers, you want clients, somebody that will buy from you again and again and again. If you sell snow to an Eskimo, you will never ever trust you or buy from you again. So we use these techniques to help you connect with the people or your clients. But once you have that connection, it is the quality of your service that will make or break that deal, not the skills that you use. - Absolutely, and it is. It's about coming from that place of integrity and becoming what people are now looking for in their businesses from salespeople.

They're looking for people they can trust, they can rely on. They need, the salesperson's role at the moment is becoming more that of a teacher or a trusted advisor. And that's the way you build customers for life. And I often laugh and joke about it and go, I'm just a lazy salesperson, okay? I'd rather nurture one client so well that I've got them for life rather than going for this constant hitting a kind, hitting in art, in art, in art, always chasing the backs. I'd rather have a client and we walk a road together. That's my philosophy. - Somebody you can trust. - Yes, so before we get even more distracted, you talk about performance here and we talk about personal performance, we talk about team performance. I wanna just throw something out there before we get into that. The last time you were here, you gave away some one-on-one coaching time, you gave away books, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. What is your book called again? - Recognition, 47 ways to stand out as an expert. - There we go. So you can check out Leon's website, we'll tell you about that later on. But we were telling, we thought, last time a couple of people won. - We had five people that we gave a book to and then two of them each got free coaching with me.

- Yes, and then one in particular got a session with you and me. - Yeah, a live face-to-face session. - Yes, and same. (laughing) It wasn't easy and we're not gonna put any names out, but I admire your courage to take that step and to do it. And she's had to face some pretty difficult bits and pieces. But I have to say, over the last little while, certainly has blossomed and she seems to be coming more to terms with life. - She has, yeah. - So I think that's brilliant. And I mean, the satisfaction, you and I spoke about that, the satisfaction you get when you can actually see that something you do can actually help somebody. You can ease their pain, can help them live life a little bit better. You know what, that's just that. That is- - Sorry, this goes back to should you study psychology. - Yes. - You need to study it 'cause you need to be able to connect 'cause people don't know who I am, what I am and what I can do for them until I connect with them. - Yes. - So the skills is to connect, but then the quality of what we do and the change that'll happen to them is what comes in mind. And no psychology can do that for you. And I think that's the best way to almost answer that question.

- So performance-wise, personal performance, we talked about changing your mindset earlier on. When we discuss performance, whether it's your team performance or your personal performance, what are we talking about exactly here? And I just forgot to tell people what we're gonna give them. So can I backtrack 'cause I'm excited? - Yes, yes. - Let's backtrack. So Leon has decided that he is going to make available to you, you do a monthly magazine. - So we do a monthly magazine and it is free, but not a lot of people know about it. And as we said last time, we gave away five books and two coaching sessions like, well, why don't we give everybody the link to the website? So we bring out a monthly magazine called Leadership Debunked. We cover leadership, entrepreneurship, intrapreneurship, HR, training, innovation, creativity. We speak about Poppy and all those different things to help inform business people, small business owners and even employees just around what their rights are and what it means to be a leader, what it means to be an intrapreneur. And we hand that out for free. So if anybody, and as I said, I'm gonna give this link and the guys can go have a look, you can read the magazine online or you can download a PDF version of it.

You can print it and do with it, whatever you want. And it's leadershipdebunked.co.za, as easy as that. - Leadershipdebunked.co.za. When he answers, you can do anything with it. If you are gonna share it with anybody, just credit him. Okay, I understand like Steely's stuff and say it's yours 'cause that's just not cool. And then do you think, do you think there would be an interest amongst our listeners if you and I put together a webinar? - I would hope so. I mean, you just gave them the lines on how to contact us. So I'm keen on that if you, I mean, why don't we do an hour webinar where they can join us and we do an hour's worth of quality training. And we, I mean, let the listeners come in, they can tell us what topic would really make the biggest change in their lives right now. And we give them that for an hour for free and see what we can change. - 'Cause I was thinking along the lines of state changes, et cetera, et cetera, because I mean, that's one of the most powerful tools I've learned. We can do, I do the whole thing with the circle of excellence. We do the anchoring so we can do all of that. It's gonna be, you know, a live webinar. So you'll get to see us stand up and sit down and jump around.

There, I'm suddenly getting, I just realized what I've just agreed to. And I put my face on camera. How do you get me to do these things? All right, so we're gonna do that, okay? We're gonna come back as well. We're gonna talk performance and we're gonna talk about personal and team performance. But before we do that, this is what I would like to do at some stage, okay? And I have to say, I have a girlfriend who's been exceptionally lucky. So she's been at Hoekland for the last five days. So every day I get an update of the yoga and the walks and everything. And I'm sitting going (snorts) but she deserved every single second of it. - David Watts on Mix 93.8. - So we're back, my guest in studio is success strategist, Leon Fari. The hardest thing we will ever do is think. What is think? Control our thoughts. Thanks for a great show. So-- - That's true. Well, it's the easiest thing as well 'cause we sometimes leave our minds in autopilot, then it becomes hard. But if you start-- - That little voice, that little voice in your head-- - That little devil in they are. - Is a promise you. It's probably one of the most destructive, most pervasive things. And it's been called many things, it's been called self-talk, it's been called all sorts of things.

But these are the tapes that we keep replaying in our minds and we play them over and over again. I mean, today, Blue Monday. For me, and I was like (growls) and I still posted on Facebook, I thought I'd gotten past the Blue Monday stage. But as soon as things started to happen, there was still that little part of my brain that popped in when you see, you see? - Yeah, I told you, sir. - Told you, told you. You're getting ahead of yourself now, what do you think you're doing? This is the universe or whatever, just smacking you down to size, how dare you? And all of it just comes marching out. And it's not something that you're going to cure overnight. With the stuff that we do, we can certainly help you to accelerate the process. But it takes constant vigilance. - Yes, you have to do work on your side. I mean, the thing is always, what are you willing to give up to get what you want? And sometimes you need to give up some of that TV time or just lying in bedtime, just to write down 10 things on a piece of paper three times a day. That's the time you need to give up to get what you want. But I mean, we said we're gonna talk about personal and team performance. So let's stop moving away from it now and let's get there.

So with the team, let's do personal performance. The thing that I think one I mentioned around there is, and we spoke about communication. So everything in life is communication. It doesn't matter what you do. The whole thing is about building relationships, asking somebody out on a date, selling something. It's communication. And we mentioned in the beginning, internal and external communication. So here's a good thing. You ask somebody, so what do you want? And I just wanna be happy. Okay, but now what does happy mean? 'Cause if you say to me, you wanna be happy. And I give you one warm meal a day. I make you sleep under a bridge, but I give you one warm meal a day. Will that be good enough? People go, but no. But I say, but you said you wanna be happy. For some people, having one warm meal a day, sleeping under a bridge, is having a great life. So our communication is so, I don't wanna say it's wrong, but we don't really listen to ourselves. And somebody would say, well, I want more money. Well, there's 10 grand, now you've got more money. Goodbye. - Yeah, what does it mean to you? - Okay, we're not clear on exactly what we want. - But is this not the strangest thing? And you'll find this when we talk about personal performance.

We're not clear on what we want, but we are very, very clear on what we don't want. - Yes, yeah. - And you and I have both seen this in action numerous times. You said to somebody, so what do you want? And they'll tell you exactly what they don't want. And then we'll go, hang on. That was not the question. The question is, what do you want? And again, and it takes a while 'cause people look at you. I mean, the first couple of times when I deal with teams and I talk about this, what do you want thing? They kind of look at me like I'm dumb. And they go, well, I'm just, I'm telling you. No, you're not telling me. You're telling me what you don't want, okay? And apparently you're getting a lot of that already. So start to, and when that light bulb comes on, you're like, ah, yes, what do I want? And it's okay to want things. - Well, an easy way to explain that is, and most people will use the whole thing of, don't think about a pink elephant. And then everybody thinks about a pink elephant. But let's use a different example. If you think about your children, when they are next to a pool and you don't want them to do a certain thing, what do you shout at them? Do not run next to the pool.

Now, if we look at your mind, you don't store words. You store images. Even if I say the word milk, you either store an image that is white. And what your brain will do is it'll take the actual word milk. It'll take the horizontal, the vertical, and the 45 degree angles that create the M, the I, the L, the K. And it will store each one of them separately as an image. So if you shout at your child, don't run next to the pool. The image that comes up in their mind is running with water. And what are they gonna do? They're gonna run next to a pool. So when you ask somebody, so what do you want from life? And exactly what you said, I asked somebody the other day, write down the five things you want from life. And the person wrote down, "I don't want people to treat me an X, Y, Z manner." And I was like, okay, but what you're doing now is you storing the picture of X, Y, and Z in your mind. Not what you do want, but what you not want, you storing. - Yeah. - And it's very big when it comes to your personal performance as well. 'Cause you're going to, when you help people, you ask them, what is it that you want? And they can tell you exactly what they don't want. You go and speak to a team, what do you want?

And they can tell you exactly what in the team is not working. Okay, but what do you want the team to be like when it is a high performance team and they don't know? - I've seen this as well, time and time and time again, you know, what do you want from the team? What do you want from the, well... - I want everybody to do their job. Okay, perfect. What does that mean for each single person in that team? 'Cause I don't know what you mean. - Follow the company's principles. - Yes. - Have you read the, what do they call it? The onboarding is one of the big words these days. The onboarding manual. Just read the manual. - Or the onboarding videos that they make you watch. Seen some of those. But I mean, I think the stupidest or the simplest example that I use for people is if you look at your company's policy, it might say you work from eight to five. Now for some people, that means I park my car in the basement at eight. Some of them it means I walk in the front door at eight. Some of it means I'm at my desk ready to start working at eight. For all of them, company policy says you start work at eight. When I drive through that gate at work, I'm at work at eight, so I'm not late. And that causes huge conflict within a team.

And I mean, that's something small. So imagine all the other things that can go wrong in a team. - I saw it happen today. There's somebody who's job or working hours start at nine a.m., but they got to work at half past eight. Let's sit in that car, okay, and wait, and then time it, and then wander out, wander upstairs, maybe have some coffee, have a chat to a couple of people, all so they can sit down at the desk by nine o'clock and go, "I am now at work." - And that's how it's said. Makes me think again, what you mentioned earlier, about people calling it Humpty and living for 1 1/2 days out of seven days, every week of their lives. If you work six, you start at nine, and you sit outside in your car and you wait. For me, that's sad to think somebody, and to be honest, I can tell you now, that person's there only for the money. There's no other reason why they're doing their job. And they're most probably exceptionally, exceptionally unhappy 'cause they're not following what it is they should be doing. They must probably, if you're telling what you wanna do, they must probably tell you, "No, I wanna be happy. "I wanna have a great job." Well then, if they don't know what they want themselves, nobody can help them.

- This reminds me of something as well, and when we talk about the performance side and asking people what they want. And I think in terms of a team that performs well, it's once they all buy into that vision, and once they're working for a reason, their reasons may be different as long as they're all hitched to the same wagon. And I'll never forget, my dad, and I grew up with a fairly traumatic childhood. I may or may not have discussed some of the things, but essentially, my dad came from very old school stock, was an alcoholic, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Him and my mom were married for plenty of years, but never happy, and he drank and everything. And on his deathbed, he said to me, "Son, please promise me one thing. "Don't do what I have done. "Do not live a life of quiet desperation." And when you think about that, I mean, that happened in those days, that's what you did. You kind of went to school, maybe you studied, you got married, you had the 2.4 kids, the house with the white picket fence, and that was never what he wanted to do. Him and my mom would probably have been a whole lot happier if they'd kind of gotten divorced and went their own separate ways. And instead of him having to be this father figure and provide for this family, which built up so much resentment over the years.

And that, to me, is sad. Don't live a life of quiet desperation. I mean, you've also had similar experiences. - But what's shocking for me, and scary, is a lot of people that I speak to will say, "Well, they're staying in the relationship for the children." And it happened to some people that I know where they would say, "You know what? "What if my child turns around and blames me "for not having a father or mother?" And my question is always, "What if your child turns around and blames you "for keeping him in a place "where the other parent don't love them?" What is gonna be worse? - Very often you hear that kind of thing. And I mean, again, and it takes, I think, to do any of this change stuff. And even when you go into an organization and you talk about stuff like this with teams, et cetera, et cetera, it takes courage. Nobody said this was gonna be easy. I mean, we often joke and we go, "Africa's not for sissies." But nobody said it's gonna be easy. Remember, and the older you are, the more of this programming that you have that runs our minds. And it just, it carries on and on. But, you know, it takes courage. But let me tell you, let me tell you the rewards are so worth it when you can stop beating yourself up.

- But it's that, a lot of people think, and I think that's that there's a difference between physical hard work and emotional hard work. As people, we are exceptionally happy to do physical hard work, but we don't wanna do the emotional hard work. And, you know, like my parents, and I think a lot of people my age and older and some younger, their parents would say, "Just work hard and you'll get the life you want." Well, if that was true, then every person out there standing next to the road digging holes and working in factories should be millionaires 'cause they are the guys that work really, really hard. They sweat for their labor. Hard work physically is not the secret. It's being willing to do the emotional hard work. What did they say? It's that easy things, and emotional easy things creates a hard life. Doing the emotional hard things will create an easy life. But it's getting to that. - It is, and it's amazing. Okay, so a couple of people have come in here. The webinar idea seems to be something people are keen on. I think people are worried to do this thing. I promise you, it's not a sales pitch. - Yes. - 'Cause, no. So many people have gone, "Oh yeah, it's a sales pitch, we've seen it." And I think we've had this experience with a lot of trainers, et cetera, et cetera, that have come across to this country, and they put on these massive big events, and you go there and the guy spends five minutes giving you one little pearl of wisdom, and then the rest of the 55 odd minutes telling you how sucky your life is gonna be unless you buy their course.

- Yes, yeah. - We're not gonna do that, okay? Seriously, we just want you to, I got more than enough to do the rest of my time to still sort of try and put in a whole sales pitch. We wanna have some fun, we wanna give back. I think I speak for you as well. - Yes. - In our lives, we've been incredibly lucky and blessed, and a lot of it we've made our own luck as well. But to have come across this field and to both be as passionate as we are in our respective fields, we'd like to give back, and that's what happened to me, and that's why I wanna do it, and I made a promise to somebody a while ago, and they'd sit to me and I said, how can I ever pay you back? One of my greatest mentors, how can I ever pay you back? How can I ever say thank you? She said to me, you don't have to do a thing, just pay it forward, that's all I ask of you. - Well, it's similar to what I'm doing now, so I'm now going out, and I'm giving 67 minutes, and it's not just for this month that it's gonna be 67 minutes. It is always 67 minutes, 'cause the hour just sounds wrong, and the number seven is psychological. We can maybe talk about this again one time, about how in pricing and stuff you seven, but I'm doing 67 minute talks to companies, where I will go in, I'll do a free one hour, well, 67 minutes, call it an hour, team strategy session for them.

It's not a sales pitch, it's not a marketing pitch, it's not a motivational talk. For 67 minutes, I sit there, and I help that team get to grips with each other, and I mean, there's only one way to say it. I help them to sort out their, what's that nice word you use? - Issues. - Their issues. So I help them to do that for 67 minutes, it's for free, and that's just to give back, 'cause I'm very passionate about corporate, and we need this country, all of us, for all of us to be successful, and that is just my little bit that I wanna help them, just get that first little bit of kickstart, of creating a high performance team, that work towards making the whole country a success. - Do what you can with what you have, where you are. - Yeah. - So again, we've run out of time, goodness gracious me. - We barely got started, so yeah. - Listen, Leon is gonna be on the first Monday night of every month, I think we got a lot of stuff that we can chat about. He is a success strategist, you can get a hold of him. Okay, so the magazine is, what is the web address there? - It's leadershipdebunked.co.za, and then my website is leonfury.com, and email address, you can either use [email protected] or Leon F, and the F stands for furry, at leonfury.com.

- Some of the people when you start working with them would call it something else. - He's a success strategist, is Leon. Don't ever call him a motivational speaker, 'cause that'll just get up his snout. - Big time. - You can get a hold of me as well, and if you'd like to email either one of us, and if you're interested in joining us on a webinar at some stage, my email address, [email protected], and it's spelled W-A-T-T-S. People are sending me, why do you keep spelling it out? Because do you know how many people, I never thought of this, how many people spell my surname W-H-A-T-S, so it's W-A-T-T-S, so [email protected]. Leon, thank you so much. - It's a pleasure, thank you for having me back again. It's an absolute pleasure being here. - David Watts on Mix 93.8.

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